RIP JaMes.... died...the morning of Monday September 22, 2003

man i feel so sad.... or guilty... i dont know... i was not the nicest person to this guy nor were many other people... james was a guy i knew from church... yesterday he sort of over slept and was rushing as he was trying to walk to seminary... (this scripture study class that i go to in the morning)... 2 miles he had to walk every school day.. it makes me feel sad thinking i could offer him a ride and he just might still be alive... anyway he was rushing to make it to class on time till a driver who couldnt see him that well due to the fog hit him with his car... James flew over the guys car and fell to the floor... the driver shocked just hit and ran.... how sad... ok i might not get this right but... another driver thought him to be a bundle of clothes in the middle of the road but it was not it was James... probably Jame's dead body who knows... the "bundle" was hit by that driver and the driver u turned back to see that the bundle was a young boy... JAMES...  the driver immediately called 911... enough of that story before i shed any more tears... im so sad and guilty to say i didnt make that effort to try to make friends with james... even worse i was one of those people who werent exactly nice to him... i have this one  memory that sticks in my mind.. for one of my church's weekly youth nights... we did a service project and picked up trash at the beach... james kept following us and i would always whisper to my friends why is this guy following us?... why cant he go somewhere else... then i also made some other remarks which were also not necessary...  come to think of it which makes me even more sad... is James never did a single thing that was bad to me...... how evil people can be... well Jame's death made me think of some things and here they are...

1. The Rule...If you have something bad to say about someone dont say anything at all...(i dont know why you should have something bad to say about someone but still you should keep it to yourself)... a new thing i add to this rule... dont say anything at all because that may be the last thing you say to/about that person..

2. Quote unquote from James's mom... "I didnt get to say goodbye" .... if and when you go to school do you ever tell your parents or even family goodbye?... just think James's mom didnt get to say bye cause he was in a rush... and another thing... when was the last time you said I LoVe YoU to your parents?... or even siblings...

3. another thing... i just noticed all these people like me are saying all these  nice things about him like me... but i say it cause in guilty and i admit that... but like imagine if he was still alive would these people still say these things about him?

well enough of the sadness before i end up crying again... may James rest in peace and may God be with his family and loved ones...

ok trying to think of happy things now... school school school... not exactly happy but some things when i see it/them it just brightens my day and i have this BIG smile on my face... haha its true you should see me... im sorry to say but i dont think i like my inspiration anymore.... i mean hes a really grreat guy but i havent seen him in the LONGEST time... i actually wanna say im done with guys.... just till i turn 16... till then my focus is school work... but actually i still got that certain someone in mind... but thats not going anywhere either...hee3... um... school is going alright im just really sleepy nowadays... hopefully ill get some sleep this weekend... actually i think im gonna take a nap now.... ok bye guys... MuAh*............... RaE

hey guys well just felt like blogging today... well what to write about... such a boring life i have.... anyways... hey i was wondering if i record a cd but its like not all professional its like home made would you buy one? answer yes or no in the chatter box please...or you guys dont even have to answer at all...just leave a freakin message man! hahahahah anyways hm...what else well yeah mainly my life is school...i wake up at like 4 in the morning to get ready then go to my scripture study class...stay there for only about 15 minutes cause i gotta go catch the bus but hey its worth it cause i learn something...then i go to school REALLY tired and at least try to take a lil nap but cant get a really good one...then go to school... well today school was grreat..  ok 1st i finally made some new friends and began to like that class but it sucks now cause i went to my counselor and got that switched..sorry guys..i just dont really like the teacheri mean shes nice and all but shes just not yeah... i have ms.bristol now and i hear shes nice so im looking forward to that... hopefully i dont forget tomorrow hahah...then 2nd... its alright had fun i guess doing a dry ice lab... its a nice class jordana'sin there so yeah thats nice i get a class with her... veras in there too and its cool messin around during the labs... "dont spill the  milk!" hahaha ... 3rd get to talk to tbo about stuff its cool...met a cool guy named edgar...he seems really nice... im actually learning history in this class...im actually like reading the book and getting and answering the questions hahahah....4th spanish...its quite boring dont really know anyone therebut i keep myself busy by paying attention hahah..but i am getting closer to kristine... *LuNcH!* my favoritist part of school... thats the only time i get to see BEST! hahaha RAEJEN! chicken! *bock bock! hahaha...boy does that person have a nicem @$$!!! wow oooh weee! um.... oh yes i got to see the sister dear and "the boys" well some of them after lunch on the way to 5th... finally got to talk to choo2 more than ever this year...man choo2 we gotta walk with eachother to some class or something hee3...5th..i got my work done in the quickness yay! that class i dont know much peoples either so yeah not that great... 6th i left for the counseling center got to se ms.white for the like what time hahaha.... i decided i would switch my 1st and yeah i was waiting there for like how long man was i BORED and TIRED!!! went back to 6th and saw that eye candy hahaha....cat and them were all trying to trick me but you cant fool me hahaha.. 6th was alright had some laughs here and there... its pretty boring if you ask me and id rather switch to ceramics...but hey i  stay cause the teacher is c00L.... went home and ate a grrrip! but hey thats my last meal for the day...yeah and i got to talkin to my uncle and got some good new 411 that made me happy and smile :D then i got to talk to best on the phone and yeah we got eachothers updated cause dude we only see eachother during lunch haha and a lil passing periods...i hate now that the bus gets there SO dang late that i cant see the homies before school...but yeah hey best i say you definitely go for it... actually ive been saying that hahaha... no offense but frenchy is way better that terrrberrr sorry...i mean it wont be another terr berr im excited to see what happens in the future so i wont have to see my BEST so sad over something that she shouldnt..shoot girl you know you dont deserve this... well my fingers hurt and i need to do my make up for my scripture study class since i always leave early... man so much to do i get home and i am TIRED! i pass out and fall asleep then only have a little time to do my work... and today (every wednesday) got to go to church again at night.. its like something you can call youth night... wow am i just so happy cause of my inspiration... "yeah uncle she seems nice and shy like me (hee3) and she has a beautiful voice..." wow that was quote unquote from my inspiration....

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

Chorus:
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
 

hey guys wow havent blogged in the longest time! well lst night i went to the ai ai concert with jen and my mom, grandma and aunty. it was alright... the highlight of the night was troy hahaha... ai ai's guests were troy montero, cesar montano, and sunshine cruz... boy was troy hot! he can sing very well too....well as for school...firs day was alright.. but this school year i can tell is really gonna suck... as for love life...there are many crushes and im very happy to say that a very old book has been WAY closed.... but yeah there are many crushes that may or may not go somewhere but there is one person whos my inspiration for many things and let me just keep that to myself for a change maybe for the good... well i gotta go now its too dang hot and i wanna turn the ac on hahaha k bye! muAh*